First Rate Replacement
by i'llbeinwonderland
Summary: Leave it to Finn to screw up big time, like "bigger than the emptiness in Finn's head" big time. And it's not like Puck can really blame any of them for passing the job off to him, he just wishes he wasn't Rachel Berry's best option.
1. Beginning of the End

**I'm back! New story! And I know all my readers must hate me for not writing for so long, but to be completely honest, I've been suffering from writers block and lack of time. Anyways... This is my third Glee story (feel free to check out my other two, both of which I hope to be updating sometime this week) and I hope you like it as much as it likes bugging my brain! Enjoy!**

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><p><em>No fucking way,<em> Puck looked at his best friend before bursting into a fit of laughter. "How the hell do you manage to break an arm _and _a leg _and _two ribs?"

"It's not funny, dude. You would kick my ass if you were in my position and I was making fun of you," Finn looked around the choir room helplessly, waiting for someone to show up who would defend him against Puck's hurtful taunts.

"Okay, numero uno," Puck stated holding up one finger, "Only you could manage this. Like I'm not even that surprised, you big klutz. Second of all, you're right. I'm surprised you're not trying to run my ass down with that sweet motor scooter. And third of all, stop looking like a fucking puppy. I'm not gonna like, attack, or anything. I just think it's pretty fucking hilarious." Puck looked him over again and chuckled.

"Man, it's not _that _funny," Finn whined while trying to hold in his laughter. Puck just looked at him trying to suppress his own amusement, and soon enough they were both laughing so hard they were gasping for air.

"Hey," Puck said, trying to get Finn's attention. "What did Rachel say about this?"

"What do you mean?" The look on Finn's face let him know he was either constipated or he really didn't understand what Puck was trying to get at.

"Oh my! Finn!" _Speak of the devil. _Puck looked over at Rachel as she rushed to Finn's side. "What happened? Did someone do this to you?"

Puck snorted. "Ha-fucking-ha. Sorry Rach, but Finn the Friendly Giant here did this to himself."

Rachel shot him a glare and went back to fretting over Finn. "How on earth…" she muttered more to herself than to Finn. Her sudden sharp intake of breath made both the boys' heads turn towards her. "Finn," she said gravely, "Will you heal in time for Sectionals?"

Puck tried not to laugh at the girl's dramatics.

"Uh… let's see… when's sectionals? In like four months-"

"One month, actually." Rachel whispered, eyes wide as her boyfriend continued to talk.

"-so yeah, I should be okay by then." Finn finished unaware of Rachel's interruption.

Puck looked from Finn who was holding up and counting some of his fingers to Rachel, who was looking at Puck with those wide puppy dog eyes.

_What the hell is she looking at me like that for…?_

Puck was just about to ask when the rest of the Glee kids walked in and begin to question Finn about what was broken and how it happened. Rachel stayed at Finn's side while Puck decided to back up to make more room, and it seemed like every time he looked over at the couple, Rachel had already been staring at him. Puck quickly averted his eyes each time and took in the other Gleeks reactions with mild interest.

Brittany was trying to put cat stickers all over Finn's casts while the other Gleeks found sharpies to sign with. Of course Finn was being modest about all the attention, but that was fine because Rachel seemed to be lapping it up. She had her arm curled around Finn's good one and was answering their medical questions, as if she hadn't found out just a few moments ago. Quinn didn't seem too amused by this and was sticking in little medical facts about _hairline fractures _and _setting bones_, as if anyone cared. These anecdotes made Sam look a little p., if you were asking Puck.

_Fucking soap opera. _

"Okay guys as Sectionals draw closer we really need to get this set list-" Everyone turned towards the teacher as he walked through the doors, waiting for him to notice Finn.

"Hi, Mr. Shue," Finn waved his arm cast at the teacher.

"Oh shit." Puck heard the teacher mutter. "Finn, what did you do?"

Finn blushed bright red and gave a mumbled answer.

"What was that, Finn?" Mr. Shue prodded.

"I said that I tried to surf down my stairs on an ironing board." Finn huffed defensively.

"Oh Finn," Rachel winced quietly. Puck was pretty sure it was over Finn's lack of brain cells.

Everyone looked around waiting to see who would laugh first.

"The doctor said I should be all healed in nine weeks?" Finn stated hopefully. Trying to get someone to speak.

"Yes, but Finn there will also be physical therapy and the fear of any more damage after that…" Rachel rubbed at her temple. "Who is my new lead?"

"Wha- no- I- I can still be the male lead!" Finn sputtered.

"Please tell me Frankenteen was just kidding." Mercedes begged.

Finn looked at Rachel, around the room, then back to Rachel. _Back up, _Puck thought.

"Sorry, dude. But it's impossible." Puck shrugged in his friend's direction.

"Which is why I think tryouts for the male lead are in order!" Rachel exclaimed jumping out of her chair.

Mr. Shue clapped a couple times, "Hold up, Rachel. Let me do this, okay?"

Rachel just looked at him before returning to her seat next to Finn. Mr. Shue waited for everyone to find their own seats before he began to talk. "Glee guys! We need a new male lead!"

Mr. Shue turned towards his first victim. "Artie?"

Artie looked at the Glee club director as if he were mental. "Mr. Shuester, I'm a cripple. Pass."

"Mike?"

"Sorry, Mr. Shue, but I don't think my singing voice is ready for that yet. Pass."

"Kurt?"

"Seriously?" Kurt questioned. "You're kidding? Okay, you're not kidding. No, Mr. Shue, I'll just have a solo instead. Pass."

"Sam?"

"Uhh… I… well, ya see…" Sam sputtered, trying to come up with some sort of answer until Quinn pinched his arm. "I don't think I can. Not my type of thing. Pass."

Mr. Shue turned towards Puck with a hopeful look on his face.

_Oh. Fuck. No. _

"Puck? Come on Puck, you love to sing! And play guitar! This is a great opportunity for you!" Puck felt bad for the guy. He was pretty much begging at this point and there was no fucking way he was going to say yes to this. "Please Puck."

"I just don't think-" Puck started. And then he looked at Rachel, specifically at her big-ass Bambi eyes. _Fuck my life. _

Puck turned back to Mr. Shue. "Let me think about it, okay? I'll get back to you tomorrow." It was then the bell decided to ring for free period to be over, and Puck pretty much jumped up and ran.

He knew Rachel Berry, and her powers of persuasion could be pretty fucking persuasive.

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><p>Later in the day, Puck found Sam in the weight room.<p>

"Dude, why aren't you gonna be the stupid lead for Glee club, or whatever?" Puck asked, rather nonchalantly in his opinion.

_Wait… nonchalantly…the fuck?_

Sam watched Puck shake his head at himself before picking up some weights. "I don't know. I like to sing and all, but Quinn said no."

"Fuck what Quinn says." Puck muttered between arm raises. _Gotta keep the guns in tip-top shape_.

"No man. If I wanna pick the lock on her chastity belt anytime soon, that is not a good idea."

_You aren't missing out on much, dude. _"Come on! You like to sing don't you?"

Sam nodded, but to the looks of Puck, this conversation wasn't getting him anything.

"Look, as the new quarterback and being Quinn Fabray's boyfriend, I gotta work on me before I can get involved in anything else. You'll be fine, dude. Rachel's hot enough."

"Don't say that, man," Puck growled out. "She's with Finn." He said it as a reminder for Sam, not himself. Definitely not for himself.

"Okay… just making an observation. Don't loose your shit." Sam grabbed his water bottle and headed off towards the locker rooms. "You'll be fine, Puckerman. You love the attention."

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><p>"So Puck? Come to your decision yet?" Mr. Shue looked like a fucking puppy. <em>You're doing this for the club, Puckerman. You're not doing it for the brown Bambi eyes burning a fucking hole in the back of your head right now<em>.

"_Yeah, Mr. Shue. I'll be the leading man." _Puck sighed_. Bye-bye last shreds of reputation. _

Everyone in the room cheered and patted him on the back. And Puck could of sworn he saw Shuester fist pumping when he thought no one was looking. There was one thing missing though…

_Dammit, Finn. You owe me for life. _"What's the problem, Rachel?"

When Puck turned in his chair he saw Rachel biting her lip. _Sexy as fuck and she has no idea she's wasting it on Finn... wait… what?_

"Go on, spit it out."

"Noah, while you have a lovely singing voice and are practiced in the arts of guitar and piano playing, are you positive you are up for the task of keeping up with me musically? I will admit our voices go together terrifically, but Finn and I already had our duet picked out for Sectionals. Do you really want to take this all on?" Rachel took a huge breath and looked to Puck, waiting for an answer to her long-winded speech.

"Babe, I'm the _Puckerone_. I can do anything." Puck smirked at her cockily.

"I would like to hear an audition piece. Right now." Rachel demanded.

"Rachel," Mr. Shue said sternly. "He already agreed and there are no objections. That won't be necessary, Puck."

"Yeah. What Mr. Shue said." Puck told Rachel.

"Are you saying you can't do it?" Rachel lifted her eyebrow until it disappeared under her bangs.

_So damn sexy. _"I can and I will, Princess." Puck breathed getting right up in her face.

"Fine." Rachel said, sitting back with a triumphant grin on her face. "Prove it."

Puck walked over to the band and let them know his song choice. He watched Rachel's eyebrows shoot up as he went to seat himself behind the piano and started playing the opening notes perfectly.

He kept his eyes on Rachel as he started to sing.

_In the light of the sun_

_Is there anyone? Oh, it has begun_

_Oh dear, you look so lost_

_Your eyes are red, the tears are shed_

_This world you must have crossed, you said_

_You don't know me_

_And you don't even care, oh yeah_

_And you said, you don't know me _

_And you don't wear my chains, oh yeah_

_Essential yet appealed _

_You carry all your thoughts across an open field _

_Where flowers gaze at you _

_They're not the only ones who cry when they see you_

_You said you don't know me _

_And you don't even care, oh yeah _

_Well you said you don't know me _

_And you don't wear my chains, oh yeah_

Puck hopped off the piano bench, letting Brad take over. He ran over to a guitar sitting by the band and picked it up quickly to catch his cue.

_She said I think I'll go to Boston _

_I think I'll start a new life _

_I think I'll start it over _

_Where no one knows my name_

_I'll get out of California _

_I'm tired of the weather _

_I think I'll get a lover _

_And fly 'em out to Spain_

_Oh yeah and I think I'll go to Boston _

_I think that I was tired_

_I think I need a new town _

_To leave this all behind_

_I think I need a sunrise _

_I'm tired of Sunset_

_I hear it's nice in the summer _

_Some snow would be nice, oh yeah_

_You don't know me _

_And you don't even care, oh yeah_

_Boston, where no one knows my name _

_Where no one knows my name _

_Where no one knows my name, yeah_

_Boston, where no one knows my name_

Puck finished off and bowed when the Glee club started to clap.

"So, did I prove myself worthy of being your leading man?" Puck asked with a smirk once the noise from the club subsided.

Rachel nodded her head and smiled at him, temporarily forgetting about her boyfriend and everyone else in the room. "I think you'll make a first-rate replacement, Noah."

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><p><strong>Love it? Hate it? Suggestions? REVIEW!<strong>

**The song was Boston by Augustana. I recommend you listen, it's a great song.**

**Puckleberry fans, THIS IS A PUCKLEBERRY STORY. Just be patient. It won't be too long.**

**I would also like to say that I AM NOT A DOCTOR! Nor have I ever had a broken bone, so please feel free to correct me if I make a mistake.**

**I always love good song ideas. They make me happy. **

**I really hope I can get in an update for "Forgetting the Forgotten" and "Keeping a Broken Promise", but I have HORRIBLE writers block. Help is always welcomed with open arms. **

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! **

**xoxo Brooke**


	2. Round One Goes to the Puckerone

**Hello lovely readers! PLEASE do not hate me cause I haven't posted anything in FOREVER. But I am _seriously_ lazy and I've fallen into the world of Puckleberry FanFiction and just recently emerged. It's sad. So I'm updating a little sporadically, but I'll try to get more stuff out soon. **

**Set during Never Been Kissed and f.y.i. Puck never went to juvie!**

**I thought about putting this at the end, but that's pretty annoying so...Puck lyrics in bold, Rachel's in **_italics_**, and both is **_**both**_.

**Thanks for all of the support! Love my readers! Enjoy!**

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><p>"Come on Noah! We have to practice Finn and I's duet!"<p>

That was the first thing that Puck heard when he walked into Glee practice the next day.

_Oh my God, why am I doing this? _

"Don't you mean _our_ duet, sweetheart?" Puck waltzed in and plopped down in a seat on the back row.

Rachel made a noise that sounded eerily similar to the noise a mouse makes when it's squeezed too hard. He had lived a very destructive childhood. So what.

"Oh Noah, of course! My sincerest apologies. And please refrain from calling me anything other than my given name."

Puck rolled his eyes as he watched her flit over to the piano and grab a couple of pages of sheet music.

Puck looked around at the other kids in the classroom. Some were snickering and others were throwing him looks of pity. Mr. Shue was just giving him this look that said, "_For the love of God, just do what she wants. Please, I'm begging."_

Puck felt bad for the guy cause he actually looked about one more Rachel monologue away from throwing up his hands "Jesus Take the Wheel" style and giving her free rule. He tried to imagine a world where Mr. Shuester wasn't using his flimsy title as "Head of New Directions" to a) try to inappropriately insert himself in their issues and b) exert the little control he possessed over the divas of the choir room. Puck shuddered. _Anarchy._

Puck huffed and went to stand behind Rachel at the piano. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "What are we singing today, princess?"

He did it mostly to get a rise out of her, but he couldn't help the self-satisfied smirk that flashed over his face when she shivered. He was very ignorant to the whispers and surprised looks of the 10 other students behind him.

"Noah!" Rachel shrieked, "I would prefer if you stood farther back from me and respected my personal space. Good self-conduct-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it." Puck was still smirking though, because Rachel wasn't very good at hiding her blush. "So what _are _we singing?"

"Well, Finn and I found this adorable song! Let's run through the whole thing once and then we can fix any problems you have with the song. Sound good?" Rachel waited until he grunted his approval before peeking around him to look at Mr. Shue.

The teacher nodded and motioned for them to have the floor.

Puck leaned back against the piano and looked down at the sheet music in his hand. As soon as the opening chords to the song started to play the only thing going through his head was _"Fuck no!" _literally_ hundreds_ of times. Hundreds.

**You seem quite nice for a girl with good looks **

**And I'm the kinda fellow that'll make you feel better when your life gets shook **

**So give it a chance according to your plans **

**I bet I'm not number one on your list to kiss, but please understand **

Puck looked at Rachel. She seemed to approve of his singing; he then looked out at the class. They were all openly laughing at him. He had never wanted to shove a carving knife down his throat more than he did at that moment, and he had spent some pretty awful Thanksgiving dinners with his _bubbe_, who refused to talk to him unless he spoke Yiddish.

_You seem quite shy, but you're oh so cute _

_And I'm the kind of girl that would love to be yours if you asked me to _

_So just take a chance, try to hold my hand _

_I swear I'd never let go _

_Just let me know if you'd be my man _

**I really want to come out and tell you **

**Oh darling, I love you so **

_If you'd ask me for my heart, there's no way that I'll say no _

**Oh darling, just take a chance please **

_So we can stay together till hell starts freeze_

_These lyrics. _Puck thought, _who the hell writes this shit?_

**You seem quite right for a boy like me**

_And I wanna know would you treat me well _

_Would you treat me like a queen? _

**Cause I'd like to show you and make you see **

_**That although we're different types **_

_**We were meant to be **_

**I really want to come out and tell you **

**Oh darling, I love you so **

_If you'd ask me for my heart, there's no way that I'll say no _

**Oh darling, just take a chance please **

_So we can stay together till hell starts freeze _

Rachel tried multiple times to pull him from where he was resting on the piano, but each time he refused to move. She eventually gave up and just started to circle him like a hungry lion while skipping to keep up the pretense of "dancing". Puck was "disturbed" to say the least.

**So I gotta ask you, **

**I can't be afraid **

**I gotta take a chance at love **

**So what do you say **

**Oh darling, I love you so **

_If you'd ask me for my heart, there's no way that I'll say no _

**Oh darling, just take a chance please **

_So we can stay together till hell starts freeze _

**Oh darling, I love you so **

_If you'd ask me for my heart, there's no way that I'll say no _

**Oh darling, just take a chance please **

_So we can stay together till hell starts freeze_

Puck looked over at Rachel as the last chords of the song ended. She looked proud and was about to open her mouth when Puck stopped her.

"No."

"But you didn't even hear what I was going to say! With some work on your high notes and mobility, I think that we could really "wow" the judg-"

"I refuse."

"-es! Wait… what?"

Puck just looked at her. "Rachel, I," he said very slowly, motioning toward himself, "am not doing," he held up a big X with his arms, "this song," he ended with balling up the sheet music and shooting it into the trashcan.

"Ahh! Three pointer for The Puckerone!" He screamed in his best announcer's voice. He turned his gaze back to Rachel. "But seriously, I _cannot_ sing this song in front of people. Despite the fact that I'm singing to 5 feet and 2 inches of hot teenage girl, I can honestly say that it makes me feel like a flaming homosexual. No offence. Actually this song _is_ for a flaming homosexual, because with these lyrics this guy practically gift-wrapped his balls and served them to this chick on a silver platter. The whole thing just hurt my manhood."

By the time Puck was finished, Rachel's mouth was gapping like a fish. He turned to the rest of the class and most of them mirrored Rachel, besides Sam and Mike, who he could see had tears streaming down their faces and were biting their fingers in an attempt not to laugh. Dumb bastards.

"So, we good?" Puck asked nonchalantly. Rachel was still gaping at him and he kinda wanted to push her a little just to see if she would react.

"Now hold up just a minute, Puck." Mr. Shue must have pulled his trapper shut long enough to form a coherent thought, cause Puck could tell he was about to lay something down. Something Puck probably wouldn't want to do.

"If you cannot agree on the song that Rachel has selected, maybe you guys could try a different song. But remember she does have more experience with this. And Rachel," he added looking at her. She looked like she was trying to reign in the crazy diva midget that possessed her soul so she wouldn't lunge for Puck's throat. _Trying _being the key word. "He _is_ being the male lead and doing us all a favor, so please respect his ideas. I want you two to go to the auditorium and by the end of Glee come back here and sing a song that you can _both_ agree on."

Rachel balled up her fists and marched out of the room. Puck watched her go. He felt as if he had just tamed a dragon. Or a small yappy dog. Like a chiuaua or a dachshund. Whatever. Metaphors are stupid.

Mr. Shue faced the rest of the club. "And while they are doing that, we will be dancing!"

Puck walked, no, ran from the room in search of the crazy diva midget.

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><p>Mr. Shue looked down at his watch. "Okay, Brittany, why don't you go grab Puck and Rachel from the auditorium."<p>

"Mr. Shuester, I don't know about you, but I don't kidnap children."

He looked at her for a moment. "I mean, just go bring them back here."

"Retrieve Puckleberry. Got it." Brittany jumped up and down once before skipping to the door.

The rest of the Glee club watched her go with curious looks on their faces, wondering what the blonde had just said. Except Mike, who let out a loud whoop when the blonde had let slip the nickname the pair had given the couple back when they dated.

In a few moments, Brittany was back holding Rachel and Puck's hands in hers. "I did it. Do I get a treat?"

"Um," Mr. Shue dug around in his pockets before pulling out a stick of gum. "Here Brit."

The blonde took the gum, unwrapped it, and stuck it in her mouth. "Aw yes. Piña Colorado! My favorite!"

No one corrected her as she took her seat in between Artie and Santana.

"Okay so. Noah and I have found some common ground. Sort of. I hope you like it."

Puck slung his guitar around from his back and chords to a folk song started to sound from the instrument.

_Day to day_

_Where do you want to be?_

_'Cos now you're trying to pick a fight_

_With everyone you need_

**You seem like a soldier**

**Who's lost her composure**

**You're wounded and playing a waiting game**

**In no-man's land no-one's to blame**

No one in the room could deny that the singing duo looked _happy_.

_**See the world**_

**Find an old fashioned girl**

_And when all's been said and done_

_**It's the things that are given, not won**_

_**Are the things that you earned**_

**Empty handed, surrounded by a senseless scene**

**With nothing of significance**

**Besides a shadow of a dream**

_You sound like an old joke_

_You're worn out, a bit broken_

_Asking me time and time again_

_**And the answer's still the same**_

Brittany and Mike hopped up to dance along to the music, but they were hardly being watched because something about the way that Puck and Rachel sang the song kept everyone captivated, especially Finn, who hadn't seen the look his girlfriend was sporting in a while.

_**See the world**_

**Find an old fashioned girl**

_And when all's been said and done_

_**It's the things that are given, not won**_

_**Are the things that you earned**_

**You've got a chance to put things right**

**So how's it going to be?**

_Lay down your arms now_

_And put us beyond doubt_

_So reach out it's not too far away_

_**Don't mess around now, don't delay**_

Puck and Rachel spun around each other laughing, totally submerged in the music.

_**See the world**_

**Find an old fashioned girl**

_And when all's been said and done_

_**It's the things that are given, not won**_

_**Are the things that you earned**_

**The things that you earned**

_Are given, not won_

**The things that you earned**

_Are given, not won_

Sudden applause filled room and Puck and Rachel broke their gaze to look at the rest of the class.

"Okay I know that song was void of sexual references, but can I just say, _wanky_." Santana stated.

"Jesus Christ. I don't get paid enough." Mr. Shue muttered under his breath and sat down from the standing O he had been giving Puck and Rachel. "Guys that was great. Good song to dance to and even though it wasn't a love song you two still had great chemistry!"

_Oh shit._ Puck thought as his eyes instantly snapped to Finn to see his expression. _Mr. Shuester you are disturbing shit you have no right to disturb. No right!_

Puck looked around to everyone and saw they were doing the same, waiting to see if he would say anything.

Finn reached up to scratch his head with his cast and finally noticed that all the eyes in the room were on him. Well, besides Mr. Shue's. Thank God he chose now of all times to not insert himself.

"Uh, yeah, it was okay I guess." But the way he was looking at Rachel. He was sporting the "we need to talk" eyes and was not so subtly looking between her and Puck.

Everyone in the room breathed a collective sigh of relief because a conflict had been temporarily avoided. Temporarily. Thank the lord.

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><p><strong>Love it? Hate it? Suggestions? REVIEW!<strong>

**The songs were "Oh Darling" by Plug In Stereo (feat. Cady Groves) and "See The World" by Gomez. It's not that I hate "Oh Darling", it's just that I can see Puck _so _easily hating it. Apologies if that's like your favorite song or whatever. **

**Did anyone notice why I picked that second song? I'll just go ahead and tell ya! **

_**It's the things that are given, not won **_

_**Are the things that you earned**_

**GET IT?**

**Anyways.. Trying to update. Please be patient. **

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**

**xoxo Brooke **


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